Chemistry Jokes: Fun Chemistry

1. Why do chemists call He, Cm and Ba the medical elements? >>>>Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium.
2. What do you do with a dead chemist? >>>>Barium.
3. Two atoms bump into each other.’I think I lost an electron.’ The other asks: ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies: ‘I’m positive.’
4. What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium? >>>>>>>‘HeHe’
5. Gold walks into a bar, barman shouts Au get out of here!
6. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? >>>>>>>>>Because it was polar
7. Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. >>>>>I’m easily lead.
8. Are you familiar with Friedel-Crafts? Sure, it’s by the Hobby Lobby on Route 3.
9. What weapon can you make from the chemicals potassium, nickel and iron? >>>A: KNiFe
10. Billy was a chemists son but billy is no more. what billy thought was H₂O was H₂SO₄.
11. 2 men walk into a bar, the first orders some H₂O. The 2nd one says ’sounds good, i’ll have some H₂O too’. The 2nd man died.
12. Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday. >>>>It was such a silicon.
13. What do chemists use to make guacamole? >>>>Avogadros.
14. I like making bad chemistryjokes because all the good ones Argon
15. How much is a glass of Adenosine TriPhospate? >>>80p.
16. What do you call a tooth suspended in 1 litre of water? >>>>A Molar solution.
17. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.>>>>”No, I’m travelling light.”
18. Chemical jokes are boron… however physics jokes have potential.